A Steel Heart (Heart #2) Read online

  Letty came and took our orders and Mae fussed over the kid. He peered over the table at me, smiling arrogantly when he thought Mae didn’t notice and I couldn’t take it anymore.

  I pulled a ten-dollar bill out of my pocket and pushed it across the table. “Hey, bud, why don’t you go play a couple of games?” I gestured toward the pinball machine along the back wall of the restaurant. “I’m sure Letty will give you some change if you go ask.”

  He looked at me, biting his lip and eyeing the money on the table like he was trying to gauge if I was trying to get rid of him. I totally was. It looked for a minute like he wasn’t going to take the bait, but then suddenly he snatched the ten dollars and climbed out underneath the booth before I could say don’t come back.

  “That was so nice, Holden,” Mae praised me from across the table.

  Mae happy. Kid gone. Winning.

  I removed my sunglasses and leaned back in the booth, not sure what to say. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten rid of the kid. Mae and I had never just relaxed together enough to talk save for the night she’d been sick.

  Gazing across the table, I noticed Mae looked a little awkward herself, but as usual her words sprang forth first. I noticed she didn’t much like silence. “So, reading anything good?”

  I swallowed, a little embarrassed about my current read. Mae didn’t need to know that I also liked the books she obsessed over so much. The very same ones I gave her shit over the night she was sick. “Yeah, one I found at the little library not too far from here.”

  She grinned. “Is it a caveman romance by chance?”

  My eyebrows lifted. How the hell did she know what I was reading?

  “Are you blushing, Steel?” she asked smugly.

  I tapped my fingers on the table nervously because, yeah, I think I was blushing. “How do you know what I’m reading?”

  All of a sudden she wasn’t so smug anymore. She picked at some imaginary lint on her shirt as she stared at the tabletop. “I saw you,” she mumbled down to the table.

  I knew she watched me sometimes, but I didn’t realize she’d been watching me that day and I had absolutely heard what she said, but this was fun. “What?” I asked.

  She looked at me finally, her face red. “I saw you.” She swallowed. “I saw you take it out of the tree box.”

  I could feel the familiar stirrings of a smile. I loved picking on her. With raised eyebrows I accused, “But I didn’t see you there.”

  She nodded nervously. “Well, I was kinda far away. On my way to put more books in and I saw you pick that one out. It’s one I had put in the day before. Do you like it?” Her eyes lit up at that question and I couldn’t refuse her even though I wanted to ask more about how long she watched me and why she watched me from afar.

  “Yeah, I like it. It’s good,” I answered honestly. I was enjoying the book. It was different and kind of had a sci-fi aspect to it.

  Her eyes shone and her knee bounced underneath the table. She obviously loved to talk books. “Oh, gosh, how far are you? Gah, I love that book. It’s one of my favorites. There isn’t a lot of dialogue, but I just adore it anyway. It surprised me so much.”

  And I couldn’t help it. She was so excited. Her face lit up. I’d never seen her so beautiful as how she was in that moment. My lips crawled over my teeth like they had only when I’d been alone and thinking about Mae.

  Mae watched me like she was watching something miraculous happen and I went to lift my hand to cover the almost smile that seemed to pop out of nowhere. It had given me no time to prepare.

  “You’re smiling,” she practically whispered to me. Her hand clutched her chest. “Sweet dear baby Jesus in the manger, you have a dimple! How is that even possible or fair?” She looked pained.

  My hand was almost to my face, but she grabbed it and brought it back to the table, still clutched in hers. She smiled back at me and my skin prickled with the awareness that I wanted her so much. More than just for a night. More than just for a walking partner. God, I wanted her to be mine. But I wasn’t in any shape to take anyone as mine. I was a mess. I couldn’t get through a day without pain and anxiety meds.

  I had nothing to give this beautiful woman who could give me the world.

  My smile fell and Miranda gripped my hand harder. “It’s okay to smile, Hold. No regrets. Only happiness.” She shook her head. “Gah, and that dimple. It ain’t right.”

  No regrets. Only happiness. Oh, to live like that. To have no regrets. To only live to be happy.

  I squeezed her hand back, not wanting to think about all the regrets I had. “What’s wrong with my dimple?”

  Her eyes immediately zeroed in on the side of my face where I knew my dimple resided. “That dimple is dangerous, Steel. I see why you keep it hidden. If you let that thing out all the time, there’d be pantiless women all over the state of South Carolina.”

  I smirked. “Yeah, why?”

  She bit her lip. “Because that dimple is panty melting.” Her cheeks flushed. “Holden Steel, melting panties everywhere with that lone dimple.” She smiled behind her cup of water.

  I looked down at the table, feeling the need to hide my eyes and grin. She loved my dimple. My mom had loved it, too. She’d kissed it before bed every night when I’d been a kid.

  Mae, sensing my discomfort, went back to books. “Do you often read romance?”

  I shrugged. “Sometimes. I like to read everything, but I’m mostly a fan of the classics.”

  “What’s your favorite classic?”

  “The Great Gatsby,” I answered easily.

  “That’s a good one, but so incredibly sad.”

  She was right. It was sad, but I still loved it. I’d read it again and again and again growing up.

  “How did you get into romance novels?”

  I pulled my hand back from hers, feeling far too exposed. I looked down at my leg. “After my accident when I was stuck in bed, my sister would read them to me.”

  She looked shocked. “Your sister?”

  “Yeah. Her name’s Harper. She lives here in Columbia, which is why I moved here.”

  “So your sister, Harper, read you books while you were hurt?” She looked thoughtful.

  “Yeah.” I wanted to tell her all about Harper and how good she was. How amazing my sister was, but I didn’t know how to open up. I’d been closed off too long.

  “So what did she do at the saucy parts?” she asked.

  Saucy? “What?” My forehead scrunched in confusion.

  “You know? When she was reading to you. What did she do at the bow chicka wow wow times? The sexy times?” Her eyes got big and her face red.

  I threw my head back and laughed, and once again Mae’s eyes went wide like she was witnessing a small miracle. “The bow chicka wow wow times?” I clarified through my laugher.

  She giggled her tinkling bell of a laugh and I felt it right in my cock.

  “You know what I’m talking about, Hold!”

  Letty dropped off our coffees and I took a sip before I answered, “I’m pretty sure she skipped them. Most of the books she read to me didn’t really have many sexy times.”

  “Hmm. That’s probably a good thing because ya know…that would be awkward.” She nodded before continuing, “What about the caveman book? It’s sexy, right? I thought it was super-hot.” Her light brown eyes flirted with me

  Fuck me. I couldn’t talk about this with her. Yeah, the book was pretty fucking good, but hearing the words sexy and hot on her lips only made my dick harder than hard and God knows I’d been hard enough lately.

  Luckily, Letty came with our food and Mae called Will over to eat with us, and all conversations of sexy novels were long forgotten in exchange for Pokémon and video games. I watched Will throughout the meal. He was a smart little booger. I’d give him that. He had Mae snowballed and wrapped around his small pinky finger.

  We finished our meal and headed back out for our walk, but as soon as we were outside Will complained that he didn�
��t want to walk, so we all made our way back into the building and up the stairs.

  “See ya later, Holden,” Will smarted as Mae opened the door to her apartment. The little shit looked triumphant, but I couldn’t let him win.

  I gazed over at Mae, giving her my smile. I knew she loved it from her reaction at the diner. I hoped my dimple was out and in full effect. “I was thinking I could come over and hang out with you guys?”

  Her eyes widened in shock, but then they lit up. “Sure. That sounds fun, although I’ll warn you, we are probably just going to play video games and stuff our faces with donuts. Nothing healthy going on up in here,” she joked.

  Her apartment door opened and we all walked inside. She stood at the door, waiting on Will and me to come in and as I passed her I paused right in front of her, my face near hers. I made sure to tease her. “You know I love your donuts, Mae.”

  Her face flushed up at me and I made sure to throw a wink at Will over my shoulder. Take that, buddy.

  “All right, guys, make yourselves at home. I’ll be right back.”

  She left the room and Will and I sat on opposite ends of Mae’s old sofa, glaring at each other.

  He broke first.

  “You can’t have her,” Will said frankly as soon as we heard a door shut inside Mae’s room.

  Okay, so we’re doing this now.

  I smirked down at him. “Have who?” I knew exactly who he was talking about.

  His squinted his eyes at me. “Don’t try to play dumb. You know who. You can’t have Miranda.”

  “What makes you think I want her?” I said nonchalantly. But he was right. Every day I wanted her more and more. I was in over my head. Because I knew I couldn’t have her, but that didn’t stop me from trying to stake my claim.

  “I see how you look at her. How you’re checking her out.” He scooted over closer to me on the couch and pushed his pointer finger into my chest. “But she’s mine. I was here first.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “She’s yours?” I couldn’t help but chuckle a little, which only pissed the little guy off further.

  “This isn’t a goddamn joke, Holden. Miranda feeds me donuts and bacon and plays Nintendo with me. She’s the coolest chick I know and she’s pretty. I’m gonna marry her someday, so back the hell off.”

  Wow, this kid was serious. Who could blame him? He was right. She really was the total package. Anyone could see that. I had to give it to him. He had great taste.

  “How old are you anyway?” I asked.

  His beady little kid eyes narrowed on me. “Old enough.”

  I choked out a laugh again as Mae entered the room.

  She beamed over at me. “I’m so glad you guys are getting along.”

  “Me, too!” Will said enthusiastically, returning her smile. “Holden’s the best.” And then he winked at me.

  This kid. He was smooth.

  Awesome Things About Lola

  She’s Orange

  She’s a Classic

  She has Character

  Me: Knock knock.

  I waited, wondering if he’d respond to my text. I knew he was awake. I rolled over in the bed and glared at the wall that separated us and wondered if he could feel my eyeballs freezing him from over here. It had been a few days since Holden had spent the day with Will and me. We’d had fun and Holden hadn’t even complained when all I’d fed us all day was crap food. It was relaxing and fun, and Holden even smiled and laughed. It had been a good day and our morning walks since then had been easy and friendly. It didn’t mean that at night when I heard him wake with nightmares that it didn’t completely destroy me. Holden was a dang mess and I didn’t have a clue how to fix it. I was pretty sure what he was suffering from was PTSD, but he never talked to me about the military or the loss of his leg. I looked up the symptoms on Google like the new age girl that I was and everything Holden was going through seemed to be exactly akin to PTSD. He didn’t share a lot with me. I told him almost everything, but Hold held his cards very close to his chest. I was hoping he’d open up to me over time, but time was ticking by and he was still closed off and unreachable in a lot of ways. Good thing I had all the time in the world.

  He didn’t respond, so I tried again.

  Me: I said knock knock, gosh darn it.

  I hadn’t called or texted Holden before, but I couldn’t take another night of hearing him suffer without at least reaching out. I picked at some lint on my sheets and accepted defeat. He obviously wasn’t in the mood to talk and who could blame him. I’d just been hoping to cheer him up. Because Holden cheery was a dang sight to behold. If I had ever thought him unbearably handsome before, it paled in comparison to when he smiled. His gorgeous seemingly perfect teeth. And that dimple. It took the hard man and made him downright boyish. I wanted to lick that dimple hard.

  Why wasn’t he answering me? It was three in the morning and I was guessing he wouldn’t be going back to sleep after that doozy. I was just about to lay my phone on the bedside table when it dinged.

  I snatched it up, a smile on my face until I saw the text.

  Holden: No

  What in the hell did that mean? No, I wasn’t allowed to text him or no, he wouldn’t be answering any knock knock jokes. God, he was infuriating. It was a good thing he was so spectacular to look at. That dimple. Gah, panties gone.

  I went in with my usual sass. I knew he loved it.

  Me: Yes

  Me: Knock Knock

  Holden: Oh, for fuck’s sake. Fine. Who the hell is there?

  Me: Ivanna Seymour

  Holden: I already don’t like where this is going.

  Me: : |

  Holden: Ugh. Ivanna Seymour Who?

  Me: Ivanna Seymour Butts

  Holden: That was the worst joke ever. Seriously. It was terrible. Completely awful. Don’t quit your day job.

  Me: What are you? The Gordon Ramsay of knock knock jokes? ;)

  Holden: : |

  Me: Oh, come on, Steel! Admit it. You’re smiling. I make you smile! I make you dimple!

  Holden: : |

  I knew he wasn’t going to invite me, but I so wanted to go over there and comfort him. I couldn’t bear for him to be alone now that I knew about his awful dreams, his pain. Knowing he was hurting, hurt me. And then I had an idea.

  Me: You going back to sleep?

  Holden: Probably not.

  Me: Meet me outside your door in twenty minutes. Dress warm.

  Holden: Why?

  Me: : |

  Holden: Fine.

  I raced around the apartment, getting ready like my behind was on fire, beyond excited. I grabbed a big blanket out of my linen closet and stepped out into the hallway, closing my door behind me. Holden was already there looking so dang sexy I had to bite back a groan. His dark hair was getting long and it looked like he’d just run his fingers through it instead of brushing it. His eyes still had that sleepy look to them and he was wearing his usual frown. I wanted to invite him into my apartment and straight to my bed, but instead I grabbed his hand, pulling him down the stairs behind me.

  “Where are we going at this ungodly hour?” Holden said quietly from behind me.

  I ignored him and pulled him along, clutching my hand in his. I’d never held his hand before, but I immediately realized I liked the roughness of it. I liked the way my small, soft hand fit in his large, gruff one.

  I pulled him along two blocks to the garage where the car that I hardly ever drove was parked.

  “Where in the hell are we going?” Holden grumbled as we entered the garage and got on the elevator.

  “To my car. We are going on a road trip, my friend.”

  His sleepy eyes looked questioning as they took in my jacket, sweatpants, and the blanket I was holding in my hand. “Then why didn’t we just grab my truck in front of the building?”

  We stepped off the elevator and I grabbed his hand again, leading him to my car. I walked everywhere in this city, so most of the time my car stayed parked in this ga
rage. “Because it’s a surprise and I want to drive.”

  Holden grunted tiredly. “Great.”

  I had the feeling he meant the exact opposite of great.

  We approached my covered car and I squealed a little in excitement. I freaking loved driving my car and taking road trips.

  Sitting the blanket down next to the vehicle, I said, “Help me uncover her!”

  Holden got on one side of the car and I on the other. We pulled the cover off and I jumped a little in my excitement. I threw my hands out in a stellar ta-da motion. “There she is.”

  Standing there looking a little stunned, Holden asked, “She?”

  “Yep.” I grinned at him. “This is Lola!”

  He shook his head and came around the vehicle toward me but looked at my Lola in disgust along the way. “This is not a car, Mae. This thing is a fucking deathtrap.”

  I gasped. “What!” I looked at my beloved nineteen-seventy-nine orange Volkswagen Beetle with pride. “Don’t you dare let her hear you talk like that. She has character and she’s a classic, for Christ’s sake! You said you loved classics!”

  Yes, she was missing paint and her bumper was hanging on by a thread, but she was mine and I’d paid cash for her.

  Holden stepped closer to me until we were toe to toe. “I said I liked reading the classics, not riding in them. This thing isn’t going to make it on a road trip to the donut place a mile up the road, much less to someplace far away, and besides, I won’t even fit in there.” He motioned toward my baby.

  “You’re a big guy, but you’ll fit just fine, I promise,” I told Holden. “But we have a slight problem. Lola doesn’t really go into reverse, so I’m gonna have to put her in neutral and you’re going to have to push her out of this spot.” I smiled sweetly at him.

  He looked at me like I was crazy, but I just kept smiling.

  “You’re joking?” he accused.

  “Nope! Serious as a heart attack. Usually, I put her in neutral and leave my door open and use my foot to push her and try to steer at the same time, but with you here it will be a lot easier.”